Homeless

Why did I leave home?

The one place I called my own

Where my heart never felt bitter or cold 

And no one feels old

Or weak or simple or bleak 

Or stale or akey I never felt shaky

My foundation so strong

No one can break me

But 15 years, almost all of my life

I stayed in my house, my shelter, my light

and at 18 years old you’re supposed to move on

Find a new house, find a new song

To dance to and sway to and hit a new beat

And you’d think any beat would make one complete

But the beat that I had was so unique and pure

No sorority or club could ever be more

Than the euphoric pressure my home used to give me

Unsettled at times, but shit came so easy

And I’m sitting in Spanish discussing what I ate

But the only language I know is 5,6,7,8

Tattooed near my ankle, the counts before go

Lights on, it’s time for the show

As I engage the crowd everybody says, “wow

Look at her go, the star of the show”

Why’d I hang up my shoes and turn off the lights

I’m hurting I’m hurting and only I know why

i gave up the love of my life so fast

I thought my glory years had passed

I thought I didn’t need it

I really believed it

I really believed I could survive without it

But without the mirror or Marley or barre,

Who the fuck am I? Am I still a star?

I lost myself when I threw out the key

To the most important part of me

I’m paying rent in temporary spaces 

To fill the void being homeless created

I’m strong enough to find a way

To get through this sadness everyday

But i just wanna travel back in time, alone

To camp out for a night in my old home